23 or Single?

I've been contemplating my state of singleness for the past couple of days. If you know me, you already know that it doesn't normally bother me. Something happened recently that has made me wonder if I'm doomed to be like a Seinfeld character – am I just too picky? There's a difference between being selective and being picky, right? Then there's me. I'm downright elitist. I'm sure a mental health professional would have a field day with this.

Anyway…
There is this guy who has been asking me out since about mid-December. Last Friday, I asked him if he wanted to join me for dinner. I was craving Tabouli from this really cool place close to where I work, and I figured that I could kind ogaugege where he was coming from, and if I got the feeling that he wanted to "date", then I could explain to him all the reasons why I thought it would be a bad idea. I mean, I could have just blown him off with the hope that he'd get the message and stop calling, but I don't like to treat people in a way that I wouldn't want to be treated myself. Golden Rule and all, ya know? So we're having dinner and the conversation is decent and I'm having a nice enough time. It's not so bad. All in all, he seems like the sort of guy I'd be attracted to – if I were 23.

Yes, he's 23 years old. That puts the age difference at 13 years. OUCH!

I could be friends with someone who is 23 and it wouldn't be a problem if I hadn't found out that he really digs me and wants to "date". (I hate the word "date". I don't what it is about it, but it gives me the heebie jeebies when I hear it spoken. The word "chipotle" has the same effect on me). Being 23, he also has the drive of one who is 23 (if you catch my drift). He was persistent and kept asking me why I was pushing him away. I told him there were many reasons, one being that I am 13 years older, and another being that I just don't know him well enough. To both these reasons he responded "Thirteen is my lucky number, and you can get to know me better." And he comes at me again. So, I thwart his advances again and he says "Sooner or later, I'll wear you down. I'm persistent." And I said, "You may be persistent, but I'm diligent. And I have a Black Belt – and it's not the kind you put through belt loops."

Bottom line is this: 23 year old people are attracted to me. How sad is that. I say this because there is also another guy who is also interested in me and is also 23. Again I say, how sad is that. Do I have nothing to offer people my own age?

Okay, some of you may be thinking "Hey! You go! More power to ya!." If I look decent enough that I can attract 23 year old men, then I should be flattered, right? In a way, I guess I am, but with the young age, comes the young brain. These people haven't LIVED yet. They still live at home with their parents. They still think life is all about going out on the weekend and getting drunk with your friends. That's what 23 year old people do these days. But I'm at a point where I'm just past all that and I need something more meaningful to talk about. In fact, I was probably past all that at 23! I don't really consider myself too old for many things, but I am too old to do the bar scene. By too old, I mean too wise and by too wise I mean that I know there is so much more to living and life than the shallow existence of a Barfly.

These may all seem like valid points and that just because I don't want to date someone who is 23 doesn't make me like those crazy people on Seinfeld. Well, here are some of my other reasons for not liking perfectly nice men who were interested in me in the past:

1. I didn't like the shape of his thighs.
2. I didn't like the way he spoke like Fozzie the Bear.
3. I didn't like the fact that he wore a bracelet.
4. I didn't like his hands.
5. He walked funny.
6. He said "melk" instead of "milk", and "warsh" instead of "wash"
7. He liked hip-hop music
8. He liked contemporary country "music" (if you can call it music!)
9. He didn't like Andrew Peterson (this one really didn't happen, but how could I like anyone who didn't like Andy?)
10. He had oily skin and his face was always shiny

See what I mean? These were all different people. Not the same guy with all these things. With all these hang-ups it's a wonder I was ever married at all.

So what's a girl to do? I'll tell you what this girl is going to do. I'm going to go home tonight, turn on the electric blanket, which is all I need to keep me warm at night, snuggle up to Floyd, my stuffed frog, and celebrate my singleness!