Is that a rash or are you just happy to see me?

My sister called me today to tell me about this strange rash that is slowly starting to cover her entire body. Weird. She noticed it last night on her ankles when her uniform pants came up a little as we were stretching before our martial arts class. She thought it was just the lighting in the studio playing tricks on her. But later, she noticed that it had crept up her legs. Come morning, it had spread up to her arms.

We're twins, and as such, the same things happen to us a lot. They could be simultaneous happenings, or they could be months apart. Her rash sounds like the same rash I had about a year and a half ago. Mine started on my legs, then quickly spread until it covered my entire body, including my face. Freaky. I remember I had a martial arts tournament that weekend, so I performed rash and all. I must have been quite a site. It was extremely itchy and blistering hot to the touch. I hate being hot. Needless to say, I didn't perform well that day – I stumbled on a side kick and lost my forms competition – but, I digress. Back to the rash…

Hers differs in a couple of ways from mine:
1. Hers doesn't itch.
2. Hers isn't covering her entire body. (Thankfully, she will be spared the looks of pity I got when people got a load of my hideous red bumpy face).

At the time, I was on antibiotics for a sinus infection, and when this rash came on like gangbusters, I immediately took myself to the ER convinced I was having a life-threatening allergic reaction to the antibiotics (it was 2:00 a.m.). I baffled the hell out of the staff there. They put me on an IV of Cortizone for two hours and sent me home.

Turns out, it's a rare viral infection. At least, that's what Stephie's is. She explained to her doctor that I had the same rash last year, only mine was itchy and it spread to my face. He told her mine was an allergic reaction to antibiotics. How about that? I diagnosed myself. Those imbeciles at Beeghly had no idea. I should have been a doctor. Screw art.

I love the word "imbecile". It makes me laugh.